im drinking this country out of the recession.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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