so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
