I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
cat food counts as protein by the way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
