I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
