I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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