Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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