I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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