After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Terrible idea I love it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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