And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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