So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize