'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
