I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
