Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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