if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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