I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
