I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
