I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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