No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
