she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
