we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I deserve this hangover.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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