Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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