coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im six kinds of drunk right now
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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