The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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