Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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