dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
