Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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