her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize