I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
