Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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