dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
