i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
