I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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