walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That accounts for only three of the penises
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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