WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
