Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
