I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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