My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize