Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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