Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
