So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
