sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
