first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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