guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
