Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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