i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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