Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
