I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
