When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
