Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i will never coherently bang her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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