he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
