you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
