I never want to see another naked old woman again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
