Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He did a backflip because drugs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
