Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
