If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
