3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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