I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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