a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
