My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
