Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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