it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
