winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
