Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
