This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
