The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize