You work out of a Hotel?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
