yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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