Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i now understand why vodka
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize