Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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