i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
