just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
