I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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