We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Farmville is her only friend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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