She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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