Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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