Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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