he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
