I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
